Thursday, March 31, 2011

SPECIAL: ENGLISH MAJORS TALKING IS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST

I'VE BEEN READING A COUPLE OF BLOGS LATELY WHICH DEAL WITH SIMILAR SNOBBERY TO MY OWN, BY WAY OF LITTLE ANIMAL GUYS SAYING THINGS AGAINST A PINWHEEL BACKGROUND. THEY ARE UNEVEN -- BECAUSE ALL OF THE CONTENT IS USER-SUBMITTED, THERE ARE NO REAL STANDARDS OF QUALITY. A LOT OF IT IS BASICALLY "DON'T CONFORM TO MY HALF-UNDERSTOOD CONCEPTION OF PRESCRIPTIVE GRAMMAR? I WILL END YOU, BITCH/*LOADS SHOTGUN*/DIE IN A FIRE/I AM FOURTEEN YEARS OLD AND WEAR T-SHIRTS FEATURING STEWIE FROM FAMILY GUY" BUT THE FREQUENCY OF GENUINELY AMUSING POSTS IS SURPRISINGLY HIGH. SOMETIMES THESE BLOGS ARE PRETTY FUNNY.

UNFORTUNATELY THEY ARE ALSO SOMETIMES UNBELIEVABLY STUPID. AND RECENTLY, ONE OF THE BLOGS DEVOLVED FROM POSTING FUNNY ARMADILLOS TALKING ABOUT JANE AUSTEN INTO POSTING A BUNCH OF ANONYMOUS COMMENTS ABOUT THE HARRY POTTER AND TWILIGHT SERIES. IT SPANNED ALL THE BIG QUESTIONS OF THINKING ABOUT BOOKS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T READ MANY: WHAT CONSTITUTES "REAL LITERATURE"? IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIGH AND LOW CULTURE? HOW MANY WIKIPEDIA SUMMARIES OF POST-MODERN THEORISTS DO YOU HAVE TO SKIM BEFORE YOU ARE LITERALLY SWALLOWED WHOLE BY YOUR OWN ANUS?

AS USUAL MY FIRST REACTION WAS TO STRIP NAKED AND TIE A BELT AROUND MY NECK SO THAT I MIGHT ESCAPE THE UNIVERSE IN A FINAL, GLORIOUS FRENZY OF AUTO-EROTIC ASPHYXIATION. BUT THEN I THOUGHT "MAYBE I COULD JUST COMPILE THESE AND POST THEM ON THE INTERNET. HEH, THEN EVERYBODY WILL KNOW HOW MUCH BETTER I AM THAN THESE IDIOTS." I OPENED MY LAPTOP AND TIPPED THE MORNING'S THIRD BAG OF TORTILLA CHIPS INTO MY FAT SMIRKING FACE. "YEAH. NOW EVERYBODY WILL KNOW HOW SMART I AM."

SO HERE PRESENTED FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DISCUSSION. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE, EITHER WITH, OR WORKING TOWARDS, DEGREES IN ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE.



"I wouldn't say sorry to the person that took the 300-level course based on the Twilight books. I am writing a rhetoric paper on one of the speeches in the last book. As an English major, I think the books offer more academically than people think. This is only if the professor does it right."


"Why in the world are people absolutely obsessed with terrible modern series about vampires falling in love with humans and werewolfs? Why are they also swept up into Harry Potter; claiming that it is by far their favorite literature.
People should appreciate the classic masterpieces."


"To everyone hating on Twilight:
...
Please read this quote:
'Though the derision of the Twilight Saga's success is not altogether surprising, the public commentary repudiates the appeal of the narratives, positions girls and women as unexpected and unwelcome media fans, and denies the long and rich history of the relationships female fans have had with media texts and personalities. On top of this, the mainstream press has belittled the reactions of girls and women to the Twilight series and the actors who play their favorite characters, frequently using Victorian era gendered words like 'fever,' 'madness,' 'hysteria,' and 'obsession' to describe Twilighters. [...] These reports of girls and women seemingly out of their minds and out of control disparage female pleasures and curtail serious exploration of the strong appeal of the series.' Introduction to 'Bitten by Twilight,' by Melissa A. Click, Jennifer Stevens Aubrey, and Elizabeth Behm-Morawitz."


"In defense of the Harry Potter series, I don't see what's wrong with it. Maybe it's not epic, classic prose, but it's not as if classic literature was immediately well-liked either. People have a hard time defining what they consider classic literature, but most of the time it's something from further in the past and not something that's been released in the past decade or so. Personally, I'm an English major with a concentration in Literary Studies and I...don't want to say HATE it, but I'm not a big fan of classic lit. I appreciate it for how it has formed literature as we see it today (outside of garbage like Twilight), but people are too bent on holding classic lit above everything else and dismissing perfectly good, modern works because they weren't written 30 years before. I find it particularly unfortunate when people can't seem to get their noses out of the air and appreciate modern lit without comparing it to something written by Shakespeare or one of the Bronte sisters."


"In response to the anon who thinks we should stick to enjoying the 'classic masterpieces,' the canon is overwhelmingly comprised of literature written by white men. Many incredible literary works have been left off the list of masterpieces because they were written by women, minorities, etc. While I agree that everyone should look beyond Harry Potter and Twilight for good reading, the 'classic masterpieces' aren't and shouldn't be the primary focus of literature."


"Why, anon? Why are they so taken with these books? Why were you so taken with whatever books brought you into the scope of literature when you were younger?
Not everyone learned to read before they went to school, and not everyone who learned to read had an easy time with it. Some people have learning disabilities, some people have an easier time listening to literature than reading it, some people just can't comprehend the density of the early novels. It doesn't make them any less intelligent that they prefer Harry Potter to Ulysses. It just means that Harry Potter was what they were able to connect to on more than just a superficial level--on an emotional level, on an intellectual level. I've attended symposiums that have delivered astounding lectures on the symbolism and intent of the series. I've dissected the books in my grad-level classes alongside Milton and Tolkien.
So you, anon, with your elitist perspective--you, anon, who believes that reading is an art of the aristocracy and the fortunately literate, you can take your opinion to your 'superior tomes' and associate exclusively with your fellow scholars and intellectuals and look down on the unwashed masses all you like. Please forgive them for maybe discovering for the first time that they CAN and DO connect with literature, and PLEASE forgive that it's something so uncouth as Harry Potter, for they are not worthy to read your classics!"


"To the other Anon who asked why people are obsessed with modern series *cough* Twilight *cough* as well as Harry Potter, I feel that you are letting yourself remain too pigeonholed in literature. The great, classic works once started somewhere, and although I detest Twilight, I appreciate good modern literature. One day, as with the classics, people may look back on things such as Harry Potter or Wicked (by Gregory Maguire) and study the political symbolism or great stylistic ideas behind them. What we need to understand is that even though you may not like a piece of literature, it has become part of history; people, years from now, will try to figure out why or why not we did not like something. So please, do not come off as someone that, because of your preference in literature, thinks that everything else is lower. Yes, people should appreciate the classic masterpieces, but the wide and beautiful world of writing is constantly evolving. Open up your mind to those as well. Who knows, maybe Harry Potter will become part of the Canon one day."


"In response to a post I read on March 19th on the issue of people claiming their favorite books are Twilight and Harry Potter, and how those people need to appreciate classic literature:
While I do agree that most of the 'literature' we find today is nothing in comparison to classics, I do have to point out the frustration I feel when people compare the Harry Potter and Twilight series. As a Realist Literature fan myself, I've never really liked anything written within the last one-hundred years. However I must comment on how Rowling created a fascinating story with a writing style which matured alongside her characters and audience. If the evolving writing doesn't qualify for some, it's also important to note that the series follows the classic 'Hero's Journey' form and is already beginning to be analyzed as a social commentary.
I agree people should be educated in the classics, but it's also important not to dismiss Harry Potter simply because it is targeted at children and young adults. We can look at many children's books in the past who have spread important messages through very simple texts, and have stood the test of time to become those literary classics we now revere.
Harry Potter tells an engaging story with an age appropriate writing style, while at the same time giving a nod to preceding classic literary forms. It has themes and can be 'close-read' like any other legitimate text.
Twilight is about a self-effacing girl who can't function without her boyfriend and his stalker-like behavior. The writing style reflects the work of one who thinks looking up words in the thesaurus and writing in excessive passive voice equates legitimate literature. Simply put, it seems to me that Harry Potter has the possibility to be examined as literature and Twilight remains nothing more that a type of 'fluff' novel.
Although I would hesitate to call anything an 'instant classic', I would also like to pose this question: Will our generation's children be reading Twilight or Harry Potter?"


"In response to the anon complaining about people loving HP over classic masterpieces: I think you have to see the difference in the way people love the two things. I personally am an English lit student and some of my favourite novels are 'classics'; Mrs Dalloway, Wuthering Heights, The Unbearable Lightness of Being etc. But if asked what my favourite books are, that list has always included Harry Potter. That series has been with me for ten years, and nothing quite compares to opening one of those novels and getting lost in that world again. I love reading novels that make me think or that are written in a language that moves me, but I also know that some people just want a story to escape into, and Harry Potter provides that beautifully. The way the story is constructed, the enourmous variety of characters and ideas that Rowling used to craft a whole world that feels like it really could be just around the corner, it is all astonishing and I admire her for that as much as I admire other writers for the way they use language or the ideas they convey.

I won't comment on Twilight because I haven't read it and don't intend to, and have issues with it myself from what I've heard about it. But Harry Potter played a huge role in my childhood and I a so grateful it is part of my life. I fuelled my love for reading and writing. And I think that children who discover Harry Potter in their youth are all that more likely to keep reading later on and read your classic masterpieces."


"I must say, that I partly disagree with the previous anon. I'd consider Harry Potter a masterpiece in itself. Why should it be such a negative thing that the Harry Potter series are people's favourite books? Most people, like myself, have grown up with the series, and I believe that it's most definitely done a lot for children's literature. That can't be disputed. I know the anon was saying that people should appreciate the classic masterpieces as apposed to the aforementioned Harry Potter series, which is fair enough, but you have to consider the people you're saying that to. Most Harry Potter readers are children, and people and in their pre-teens, and I don't mean to be funny, but most kids that age don't spend their free time reading shakespeare or john donne. If you think about it, the Harry Potter series does have its links and interjections with classic literature and mythology. I myself have learnt a lot about classic literature from the series, such as Chaucer, and I think that's where J.K. Rowling should be credited for her excellent storywriting skills. It's difficult to be able to construct such a structured plot, and incorporate the amount of classic and historical references as Rowling does, so I think it's slightly unfair to suggest that people are disregarding classical literature, when they're probably already learning about it in the books they find interesting."


"To the anon who commented saying, 'People should appreciate the classic masterpieces:'

Classic literature is not for everyone. We're English majors, we eat that stuff up, but even I will admit to disliking some of the 'masterpieces.' It's personal preference. There's nothing wrong with people reading and enjoying a book about werewolves and vampires or witches and wizards if that's what interests them.
Reading, for me at least, is an escape. It allows me to lose myself in a world that is not my own. I grew up on Harry Potter and it is one of my favorite series, but that doesn't mean I don't 'appreciate' what came before it, or that I'll dismiss what comes after it. J.K. Rowling changed the world with her books, and Harry Potter will become classic literature.
As to Twilight, I'll be the first to say those books are not well-written at all, and they belong as far away from the canon as possible, but they got people who wouldn't normally read, to actually read. I mean seriously, isn't that the whole goal? To get people reading?

It's like music, there's something for everyone and not everyone likes the exact same genres/artists/songs. Everyone is going to like different literature. You shouldn't disregard that. You should embrace it."


"I love classic literature. I read big books all the time. I relish having to look up new vocabulary. I like having to work at my reading. I like battling against archaic wordings, and out-of-date turns of phrase, and old fashioned conventions.

But if you asked me what three books I'd want with me on a deserted island for the rest of my days, I'd tell you honestly that I'd rather have Good Omens, Paper Towns and Lord of the Rings than all the Dickens and Shakespeare in the world."


"Lovely opinion! I feel essentially the same way! :o)"


(IF YOU TOO ARE NOW NAKED AND JERKING/CHOKING YOURSELF ALL THE WAY TO THE REALM OF THE SUBLIME, PLEASE DO CHECK OUT THE CLASSICS MAJOR CROCODILE, WHICH HAS A HIT RATE OF ABOUT 90% IN MY QUALIFIED AND SCIENTIFIC OPINION, AND PROVES THAT A FEW PEOPLE STILL KNOW HOW TO READ.)

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