Saturday, April 30, 2011

SPECIAL: ENGLISH MAJORS MEDLEY

"about me
Immodestly bookish.
Lover of lists.
Imperfect bibliophile.
Devotee of late Victorian literature.
Extreme grammar nazi.
Obsessive writer.
Utterly enamored with witty epigrams."


"I've never been one for poetry, though I am an English major"


"Books are sacred. Books gain personality. Nothing feels better than opening a worn-out old favorite. I love the smell of a new book, fresh off the Barnes and Noble shelves."


"I am an English major, but unable to finish most classics in a couple days.
Maybe because I don't read hugely long books very quickly.
Also, I read faster when something is very interesting.
Not a whole lot of that, to me, in classics.
Modern books, heck yeah."

"Oh, believe me, I spent almost two months reading Dracula! I am not a fast reader when it comes to classics.

Hand me a Dan Brown book though and I’ll devour that sucker in two days. :oD"


"Ugg ... this book became a running joke for the English majors in my college because we all hated it so much. 'Well, it wasn't as bad as Billy Budd' was still a terrible review."


"NERD ESSAYS! :o)

This semester, I’m doing two finals on Doctor Who related topics. For my 'math class' (the quotation marks are necessary because it's essentially 'math for English majors' with very few numbers involved) we're doing a project on time travel (with plenty of pop culture references!) and in my journalism class I’m going to be writing my final article on Whovian culture, specifically at Anime Boston…where I will be going this weekend…*is a nerd*."


"I wrote a 5 page essay about Milton and punk as well. I connected Satan's soliloquy about the mind ('...can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven, what matter where if I be the same') with current conceptions of hell and autonomy in punk rock using the songs 'Hellnation' by Dead Kennedys and 'Roll Me Through the Gates of Hell' by Mischief Brew. Prof said it was my best paper all year."


"I love English syllabuses. I practically collect them. I like to analyze them and think about what the theme of that class is going to be. I like to critique their choices, I like to collect new titles for my reading list. I am obsessed with my brother-in-law’s high school English reading lists, and I think it creeps him out a bit. I love it when bookstores put out local school summer reading lists. For me, those are equivalent to Fall Fashion Week for a fashionista, or the Sunday Wall Street Journal for a stock-aholic. This all stems from my obsession with all things I read in high school. This is discussed in a soon-to-be classic scene from the recent film 'Easy A'. Basically the angst of our reading material seems to mimic that time of our life. I even had a friend who practically became half the characters we read about. I had to stop him at Gatsby, because that bordered on sacrilege for me."


"My Mexican Literature professor always brings old books from his parents library, one day we realized all of us were smelling them when he passed them along."


"I don't understand why they can't have classes on good books, like Watchmen"


"I'll read the back of shampoo bottle if nothing else is available, my brain tries to devour everything & contemplate it all at its liesure. I call it thinking, others call it woolgathering."


"Am I seriously the only English major who hates The Great Gatsby?
...
I thought The Great Gatsby was rather trite. I read it in high school like I was supposed to and I didn't learn anything new... it should be pretty obvious to most people that a married woman with a child is not going to leave her husband for some guy she probably met in high school who appears to be stalking her. Apparently it wasn't obvious to Gatsby, though?
...
That's just my opinion. I'll take Camus any day over Fitzgerald, so maybe I should just move to France where The Stranger is their sacred cow."


"I went through the whole history of Western literature (not exhaustively, but trying to get a representative sample) looking for the patterns and what the purpose of these stories was. Then I studies screenplays and movies, watching some 200 films, outlining many of them, getting the screenplays, reading them, and so on. All this time I was looking for why these artforms existed—and what their utility was.

But after about two years of this, I started to doubt whether I really believed in the story. I mean, there are people—I think they are likely to be religious—who really think a novel, say, says something really important and useful. Says something profound. Helps them get through life. Changes them. But what I discovered was that I’m not one of those people. Novels and stories and movies are mere entertainment. Sophocles is no better that Steven Segal. It’s just bread and circuses.

At bottom, a novel is an anecdote. And it’s all made up. It’s fiction. It’s a fantasy. This really comes how when you write one (or 4, as I have). You just—make shit up. It’s imagination, pure an simple."


"I'm not sure you're meant to understand what's going on; I'm not even sure Carroll knows himself. If I would have read this as a kid I would have been even more confused, so I've never really understood why this is considered such a classic children's book. It has the fantastical lands and characters of children's stories, but the subject matter seems to be something that few people will ever hope to grasp - let alone a child. This is coming from a guy with a BA(Hons) in English and History, although analysing the meanings behind novels was never my strong point. Half of the time I'm not even sure the 'meanings' some of my lecturers pulled out from the text were ever intended by the author."


"I don't think I've ever thought about what century a book is from before."


"Ugh. I really, really don't want to have to take an entire class on this in graduate school but it looks like it's going to happen. I don't like this, I never have and I probably never will. I don't think it's funny, and I hate the translations, and I found the stories boring. I understand that he was incorporating all these different types into one -- bawdy, fabliau, etc. -- but I still find it terribly boring and poorly written.

Writing is an art and a craft that took time to develop, much longer than many of the others. I don't want to look at the rudimentary forms of this art or the base of it, I want to look at what it has become, how a person today can communicate an idea or a concept using words in an elaborate, mysterious way. This is just... archaic and uninteresting to me. There's a reason I'm not a history major."

HE IS TALKING ABOUT CHAUCER

Friday, April 29, 2011

THE BEST OF APRIL

WALT WHITMAN - LEAVES OF GRASS

"Poetry. Nobody ever said this was. All. Poetry. I don't read poetry. I don't write poetry. I don't GET poetry. And you'd think with titles like; 'From Pent up Aching Rivers', 'Of Him I sing', and 'Oh Hymen, Oh Hymenee!'. That that's stuff I could figure out. Not so much. I did give this a good peruse, and read the author's prologue, but there's just no way I can sit around reading that stuff. All I could think about the whole time is; what kind of guy sits around writing poetry for 30 years?"


ALEKSANDR PUSHKIN - EUGENE ONEGIN

"Pushkin is a poet and for some reason he thought it would be a good idea to write an entire NOVEL in rhyme. Not his best idea."


SHAKESPEARE - JULIUS CAESAR

"The other thing I don't like is how his characters all the same in all of his plays. It's same type of character for each. Another thing I dislike about Shakespeare is that all of his plays have violence in them. Someone always dies in Shakespeare. His plays were way too much the same. He kept writing the same thing over and over again."


CHINUA ACHEBE - THINGS FALL APART

"The author tries to introduce us to a culture with likable characters and then watch it be destroyed before our eyes while continuing a vivid story but fails miserably. How miserably you ask? Let me put it this way, Avatar (a movie about a FICTIONAL CULTURE,) did a better job.
Don't get me wrong I love Avatar but I think a book based on actually historic event should do a better job making us care about the characters and evens, no?
Let me lay it out for you. The main character is a war mongering bully who is haunted by the ghost of his father. That's all.
...
I think the author was trying to write a text book on Ibo culture but sent it to the wrong publisher on accident. I am not kidding.
Though this is my opinion, I think anyone who analyzes this book will find both the story and writing style atrocious, here is a segment from the second to last chapter:

'It was open and sandy. Footpaths were open and sandy in the dry season. But when the rains came the bush grew thick on either side and closed in on the path. It was now the dry season.'

If you didn't notice the author says the same thing three time! Granted he uses different wording, but he tells us it's the dry season essentially three times! That is a huge no no in the writing world. I am an aspiring author and when I read this I quite literally wanted to rip that page out of the book and throw it at the wall. That segment right there is the WORST bit of published work I've seen in any book . If you know of something worse please comment on this with what ever is worse.
For me the only consolation in this book is when the white man finally reigns victorious. (Okay, I know that sounds racist but let me explain.)Though the did a horrid job creating the culture the fact that it's real made it real in my mind, plus I begrudgingly admit that the author did offer some small details that helped. Just the thoughts of Mr. Smith as he walked away left me with chills.
So here is my advice to you. Read the last chapter of this book but imagine the character Okonkwo as Jake Sully and Mr. Smith as the army guy from avatar. If you do that, you will receive much more from this book than anyone who's actually read it."


GOETHE - FAUST, PART ONE

"I usually dislike pieces (I prefer stories)"


JAMES JOYCE - DUBLINERS

"Call me an uncivilized peasant if you will, but I continue to despise James Joyce. I recall a college English class of mine where all the students were ducking Prof. Gatza's questions about Joyce's 'Stephen Hero,' and--when he solicited an explanation for the mysterious phenomenon--only fifteen-year-old Brucie Boy had the guts to tell him, 'Well, none of us have read the book because, frankly, it's just pitifully wretchedly dreadful.' (I suppose that's why Gatza gave me a B.)"


ERICH MARIA REMARQUE - ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT

"I think this was the gayest book I have ever read in my life!
I don't like war stories and if you are reading this Mr. Johnson I hope you know that the whole time I was reading this I complained the WHOLE time.
thank you"

"Why do I need to hear about all these dead people? ... Every time I read a chapter it just goes and puts a damper on my mood."


WILLIAM BLAKE - SONGS OF INNOCENCE AND OF EXPERIENCE

"william blake upon writing poems seems to portray black as something evil which is very much ridiculous to the black society.i know as a literature student that historically black wasnt something seen as evil but rather humility and beauty but the plaque that hit the whole world in the 15th or 14th century there about made the christian world at that time for their habit of racism name that illness 'blackdeath' diseases.it had a name but later changed to be this since then it has become an philosophical somewhat ideal to equate black to sin.'images of angel,jesus,god etc are all white but the opposite has being made to be ture in the minds of the human race hence black is relative to sin,devil(satan)and all satanic forces.i rest my comments for my book i ll write on this issue."


HERMAN MELVILLE - BARTLEBY THE SCRIVENER

"'I'd prefer not to.' ?????????? Yeah, me too, pal. Neither would the people who built the pyramids or fought in wars. Neither would Oscar Wilde, or the son on the Sopranos, or 95% of the people in jailhouse showers right now."


LEWIS CARROLL - ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

"Don't read this. Don't waste hours reading."


JOHN STUART MILL - ON LIBERTY

"(Also, this isn't a novel, it's literally about individual freedoms and how they play a role in society.)"

"Liberty means freedom from taxes, too many laws and respect for property rights not the right to welfare or necessarily to vote.
...
Of course as an agnostic he advocates that socially, individuals should be privately able to do whatever they like. Unfortunately in order for a society to be free from too many laws the people must abide by unwritten laws and that means the laws of the Abrahamic God. If a village does not want to tolerate homosexuals then they should be free not to and be able to drive them out, it's called the social contract."

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Moliere - Tartuffe

"Tartuffe is dry, cynical, witless reading--similar to watching re-run after re-run of a sitcom such as 'Three's Company'. This is a book that should be skipped at all costs. I wish I would've dropped my literature class before I was sentenced to toil through this piece."


"I read this book in French. The entire process was unbearably painful."


"yeah hypocrisy is bad"


"I understand that it's supposed to be ridiculous, but the rhyming just got to me after a while. I felt like I was reading Dr. Seuss' take on the randy upper-class of that era. I still shudder to think of it."


"'Tartuffe' by Moliere is a feeble attempt at extrodinary literature. The writing itself is lacking in drama and power, and the development of the play through rhyme patterns fails to alleviate the torment of reading it. The reader must realize that at the time Moliere was penning this work, he was in debtor's prison. His clever incorporation of monarchial laud was his means of finding favor in the prince to possibly mitigate his sentence, as well as for him [Moliere] to raise enough to set bail." NONE OF THAT IS TRUE "'Tartuffe' is a boring play satirizing Catholic religion and ignorant people who are duped by a wily man using God to deceive and rob a family who cannot see the true nature of Tartuffe. In fact, 'tartuffe' is French for 'thief'." THIS IS ALSO NOT TRUE "I seriously would not recommend reading this play, and know 11 other people who would agree."

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Euripides - The Bacchae

"I hate Euripides and Plato and Sophocles and Socrates and Odysseus and Oedipus and Medea and Antigone and Ismene and bladiddyblahblah who even cares."


"We’ve been saying clever things for some time in story meetings, things like 'Fuck Euripides', and 'Euripides Sucks!'. We’re all smart folks promise.

The thing is? Eurpidies write great words. He did. That’s why we want to use them in the first place. Story. Characters. It’s all there except…

Well. They hadn’t gotten around to finishing creating our art form yet, and hadn’t really decided to have any action ON stage."


"Very trippy Greek tragedy. Read it for a class and it was like watching the surgery channel."

I WOULDN'T MENTION THIS REVIEW

BUT

CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE CONFIRM THE EXISTENCE OF A SURGERY CHANNEL?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

John Stuart Mill - On Liberty

"Uggh! Philosophy..enough said."


"(Also, this isn't a novel, it's literally about individual freedoms and how they play a role in society.)"


"Mill is the originator of the thoughtless confounding of liberal and socialist ideas that led to the decline of the living standards of the English people. Mill is the great advocate of Socialism. All the arguments that could be expounded in favour of socialism are expounded here. Marx, Lasalle and Engels are scarcely of importance. The blood of 100 million ultimately dripped from his pen (see the black book of communism). Liberty means freedom from taxes, too many laws and respect for property rights not the right to welfare or necessarily to vote. It is no surprise to see neo-con Himmelfarb enthusing over this book considering the Kristol family are fans of the tyrant Trotsky.
Of course as an agnostic he advocates that socially, individuals should be privately able to do whatever they like. Unfortunately in order for a society to be free from too many laws the people must abide by unwritten laws and that means the laws of the Abrahamic God. If a village does not want to tolerate homosexuals then they should be free not to and be able to drive them out, it's called the social contract. As George Washington wisely put it 'in order to be a truly free people,we must be a religious people'. J.S. Mill, not a very good thinker and an appalling one on the nature of liberty."

Monday, April 25, 2011

Aristotle - Poetics

"He is a lot like his teacher Plato. Thus I hate them both."


"Well, I tell you what.

Did you ever see 'Dead Poet's Society'? You know that scene where it's the first day of school and Robin Williams has them read that essay out loud, with all sorts of formulae and things for analyzing poetry - where Robin Williams graphs a formula on the board: PxI=G ?

Remember that?

That's the feeling I got with this. It seems to miss the forest for the trees.

OK, it's an analysis of drama and epic poetry. But to what end?"


"Is it totally sacreligious for me to say that I think Aristotle is kinda wack?
...
It just seems so antiquated to me, and though I know I should honor my fathers and appreciate the history in this, it kills me that I have to read Aristotle's noodlings about tragedy vs. epic poetry for a playwriting class.
...
The real tragedy (ho ho ho) here was that I just don't give a shit about how an ancient Greek dude thought plays should be structured"


"It wasn't a bad book; in fact, I understood most of it. However, I didn't feel like I was left with a greater sense of wisdom."


"This doesn't strike me as a vital text in theory. It would seem to be of better use to those studying the Classics and simply as background than to any other particular purpose. I know there's an assumption among some folk that text anywhere near as dated as this could be of practical use in this day and age, but there's plenty of proof to the contrary."


"philosophy likes to go in circles. in circles philosophy likes to go. the philosophy of poetry is looked at closely. poetry and the philosophy behind it is analyzed on it's application to life. . . and on and on and on and on I can go."


"I'm glad I read it since now I'm more impressive to elitists, Aristotle wasn't exactly engaging because it was so decontextualized. I was just plopped down in this discussion and had no idea what he was responding to, besides Oedipus and the Odyssey and Iliad because I kind of know those texts, because Aristotle just assumes you're up on all the plays he's quoting."


"I loved how Aristotle continually referenced Greek poets who wrote incorrectly. Maybe they wrote correctly and he was wrong....? After all, they were in the majority and we have to be democratic about truth! :P"

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Shakespeare - Pericles, Prince of Tyre

"F%&k you William!!!! Imagine if Romeo and Ethel, The Pirate's Daughter, actually got made!!! What a pile of crap. Based on the Monkeys on Keyboards Adage...one half-cocked drunk monkey....5 minutes."


I SOMETIMES THINK THE REVIEWS POSTED HERE CAN BE SORTED INTO TWO CATEGORIES: WE HAVE THE MOUTH-BREATHERS, THE SCHOOL-CHILDREN, THE APPALLED MOTHERS AND SO ON, WHOSE FAILURES TO APPRECIATE A GOOD BOOK CAN BE TRACED TO A SORT OF HORROR AT THE ACT OF THINKING, AT THE WRITTEN WORD ITSELF. THESE PEOPLE AREN'T INTERESTED IN LITERATURE, AND THAT'S OKAY. THERE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE A MASSIVE CLASS OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE BOOKS.

IN SOME WAYS, THIS FIRST CATEGORY IS A LOT LESS OFFENSIVE THAN THE SECOND, BECAUSE THE FIRST TYPE OF REVIEW IS JUST THE ANIMAL STUPIDITY OF THE HUMAN RACE BUMPING ITS HEAD ON WHAT IS ABOVE IT, LIKE THE PEOPLE YOU SEE AT THE ART GALLERY SPITTING "MY KID COULD DO THAT" AT A PICASSO. THE SECOND TYPE, HOWEVER, IS WRITTEN WITH A SMUG PRETENSE OF ACTUAL KNOWLEDGE, OF ACTUAL INTEREST, AND IT MARRIES THIS ARROGANCE WITH THE BASEST IGNORANCE AND LAZINESS. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE A LIFE OF READING AND YET DO NOT ENJOY IT, THE ACADEMICS AND THE COFFEE-SHOP INTELLECTUALS FOR WHOM LEARNING IS A PROJECT OF INCREASING ONE'S STANDING IN SOCIETY, NOT OF ASCENT FROM THAT SOCIETY INTO THE INFINITE HEIGHTS OF THE SELF. THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT THE SMELL OF OLD BOOKS -- YOU MIGHT KNOW IT BETTER AS THE STENCH OF INTELLECTUAL FRAUD -- MORE THAN THEIR CONTENT. THESE ARE THE FAUX-READERS LURKING IN OUR UNIVERSITIES, FOR WHOM THE MAIN THING TO CONSIDER ABOUT A BOOK IS HOW GOOD IT LOOKS BETWEEN ONE'S ANTIQUE TYPEWRITER AND THE FEDORA ON THE HATRACK.

ALL OF THIS TO INTRODUCE SOME FUCKING IDIOT WHO HAS WRITTEN PRETTY MUCH THE WORST REVIEW OF PERICLES, PRINCE OF TYRE I CAN IMAGINE:


"Fun, but essentially a failure. The first two Acts are marvelous ... and worthy of the Bard. I'm told by some that he wrote the first two; I'm told by others that those are the ones he didn't write. Basically, we don't know who wrote what. After that it just gets stupider every page."


I DON'T KNOW OF ANY SCHOLARSHIP WHICH ATTRIBUTES THE LAST HALF OF THE PLAY TO ANYBODY BUT SHAKESPEARE. THE REAL QUESTIONS OF THE PLAY'S AUTHORSHIP IS WHO THE FUCK WROTE THOSE AWFUL, PRACTICALLY UNREADABLE FIRST TWO ACTS?

THERE'S A NICE THEORY, I THINK, THAT OUR TEXT OF PERICLES WAS COMPILED FROM THE TEXTS OF TWO PIRATES -- AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHO WOULD EITHER NOTE DOWN OR ATTEMPT TO MEMORIZE THE LINES AS THEY WATCHED THE PLAY, THEN SELL COPIES OF THE SCRIPTS AS ENTERTAINMENT. KIND OF LIKE PEOPLE WHO RECORD NEW RELEASE MOVIES AND PUT THEM ON THE INTERNET (EXCEPT THEY WERE PIRATING THE ABSOLUTE HEIGHT OF HUMAN GENIUS INSTEAD OF WHATEVER BULLSHIT OUR DARK AGE IS USING TO AID ITS COLLECTIVE RETURN TO THE SYMBIOTIC STATE).

ANYWAY, ONE OF THE PIRATES HAD A FAR BETTER MEMORY THAN HIS COLLEAGUE, AND HIS PORTION OF THE TEXT MAKES UP THE LAST THREE ACTS GENERALLY ATTRIBUTED TO SHAKESPEARE. BUT THERE'S NOT MUCH BEYOND CONJECTURE TO SUPPORT THIS, AND I MOSTLY LIKE IT BECAUSE IT'S AN INTERESTING STORY. CURRENTLY SCHOLARSHIP TENDS TO FAVOUR ONE OF TWO THEORIES:

THE OXFORD SHAKESPEARE SAYS THAT THE FIRST TWO ACTS ARE THE WORK OF GEORGE WILKINS, A FAIRLY DREADFUL PLAYWRIGHT WHO WORKED FROM 1606 TO ABOUT 1608. TEXTUAL ANALYSIS HAS REVEALED AN AFFINITY BETWEEN WILKINS' PLAYS AND THE FIRST TWO ACTS OF PERICLES. THE CAMBRIDGE SHAKESPEARE ATTRIBUTES THE WHOLE PLAY TO SHAKESPEARE, CLAIMING THAT THE STYLISTIC INADEQUACY OF THE FIRST TWO ACTS IS PARODY, PARTICULARLY OF JOHN GOWER, THE CONTEMPORARY OF CHAUCER, NOW MOSTLY FORGOTTEN OUTSIDE OF ACADEMIA.

POINT BEING NOBODY WOULD EVER SERIOUSLY SUGGEST THAT THE LAST THREE ACTS ARE ANYTHING BUT SHAKESPEARE'S (WHETHER WE GET THEM SECONDHAND FROM A PIRATE OR GARBLED BY PRINTERS OR FAIRLY ACCURATELY). THEY CERTAINLY RESEMBLE PLAYS OF THE SAME PERIOD, LIKE THE WINTER'S TALE, CYMBELINE AND THE TEMPEST, AND THEY CONTAIN SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL POETRY SHAKESPEARE EVER WROTE, ALL OF IT VERY MUCH IN THE STYLE OF THE LATE PLAYS, A STYLE WHICH DEFIES IMITATION.

NONE OF THIS, THOUGH, IS REALLY IMPORTANT -- BECAUSE IT ONLY TAKES A CURSORY READING OF THE FIRST TWO ACTS TO REALIZE THAT THEY ARE REALLY FUCKING BAD.


"As you might have suspected from its narrator, John 'moral' Gower, this is a morality play, a rather low art form anyway. And it's not even a good morality play: the tone for most of the play is comic, and therefore the play is often categorized as one of 'the problem plays' that shirk genre."


THE PROBLEM PLAYS ARE THREE EXTREMELY DARK COMEDIES SHAKESPEARE WROTE IN THE LATE 1590s: ALL'S WELL THAT END WELL, TROILUS AND CRESSIDA AND MEASURE FOR MEASURE. SOMETIMES SOME OTHER PLAYS ARE TALKED ABOUT AS PROBLEM PLAYS, BUT PERICLES IS NOT ONE OF THEM. IF PERICLES HAS ANY CATEGORY IT IS IN THE LATE ROMANCES.

"It doesn't help that the text is a little mangled in places, and we are obviously missing some lines (especially with the fisherman--they say stuff that doesn't make sense. They sound drunk.)"


BOY SOME DRUNK PEASANT CHARACTERS IN A SHAKESPEARE PLAY IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO THINK OF ANY PRECEDENT FOR THAT. (NOT TO MENTION THE FISHERMEN ARE PART OF WILKINS' PORTION.)

"The first theme, or apparent subject, we meet is incest, an unusual choice for morality plays about chastity (the most poetically potent of which is probably Milton's Comus) and it's something of a red herring, extraneous at best, a distraction at worst. There is nothing more shocking to a human than incest (except death)--it is a universal taboo and always the gravest [interesting since primitive societies certainly knew/know nothing about genetic disorders:]. Oedipus Rex will never not horrify.



As for Acts I and II, there are really some great lines in here, most of which are spoken by Pericles. Once his poetry dries up in Act III, he stops being so likeable and the play stumbles.

'I see that Time's the king of men,
For he's their parent, and he is their grave,
And gives them what he will, not what they crave.'"

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS

OKAY, HE HASN'T MADE IT CLEAR, BUT THIS LINE IS FROM WILKIN'S PIECE OF THE PLAY, IN ACT 2 SCENE 3, SO PRESUMABLY THIS IS MEANT TO BE AN EXAMPLE OF "SOME REALLY GREAT LINES" BEFORE "HIS POETRY DRIES UP". LET'S TAKE A QUICK LOOK A SOMETHING FROM THE WINTER'S TALE. LEONTES BELIEVES HIS WIFE IS SLEEPING WITH HIS BEST FRIEND:


"There may be in the cup
A spider steep'd, and one may drink, depart,
And yet partake no venom, for his knowledge
Is not infected: but if one present
The abhorr'd ingredient to his eye, make known
How he hath drunk, he cracks his gorge, his sides,
With violent hefts. I have drunk,
and seen the spider."

SO WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS AN EXTREMELY VISCERAL, REVOLTING IMAGE TO ACCOMPANY LEONTES' STATE OF HORROR AND DISGUST. THE METRE JUMPS AROUND AND EVEN FALLS APART AT THE END, GIVING US A CHARACTER IN TURMOIL TO THE POINT WHERE HIS LANGUAGE FAILS HIM. LOOK AT THE SECOND TO LAST LINE. NO LONGER PENTAMETER, IT LEAVES A NATURAL PAUSE AFTER "DRUNK" - ONE OF SHAKESPEARE'S GREAT GIFTS BEING HIS ABILITY TO GIVE US A SENSE THAT HIS DIALOGUE IS ACTING THROUGH ITS METRE.

THAT IS THE LEVEL SHAKESPEARE WAS WORKING ON IN THIS PERIOD. NOW LET'S RETURN TO OUR LITTLE SNIPPET OF ACT 2 OF PERICLES...

TIME'S THE KING OF MEN? BECAUSE HE IS THEIR PARENT BUT

ALSO THEIR GRAVE? WILKINS YOU PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

METRICALLY IT'S STRAIGHT PENTAMETER (THE FIRST LINE'S MISSING FOOT IS "WHEREBY"), NOTHING TO SEE HERE. AND WHAT EXACTLY IS THE SENTIMENT BEHIND THIS AWKWARD LITTLE COUPLET? "SOMETIMES PEOPLE DON'T GET WANT THEY WANT"?

WELL
GOLLY


"Now, the first two Acts give us enough to believe; the third Act is where the audience can no longer suspend its disbelief, as the plot becomes preposterous even by classical pagan standards:" WHAT DOES THIS MEAN "it was one thing to ask us to believe the sea had agency (Neptune) and is therefore something of a character in the play; it is altogether another to believe that someone would survive being buried at sea in a box nailed shut;"

IT'S A FAIRY TALE YOU BLITHERING BABY. IF THIS WEREN'T A RIFF ON AN EXTREMELY COMMON THEME IN MYTH WORLDWIDE (PERSEUS AND DANAE, MOSES ETC), YOU'D STILL BE DUMB AND WRONG BECAUSE SHE DOES DIE; SHE IS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE BY THE PHYSICIAN CERIMON DID YOU READ THE PLAY

"to believe that Pericles wouldn't raise Marina and instead would give her to a local king who owes him a big favor; to believe that any woman would be crazy enough (and she seems sane, even insightful in Acts I and II)"

AGAIN THE IDEA OF AN EVIL STEP-MOTHER IS UNIVERSAL IN WORLD FAIRY-TALES AND I REALLY CAN'T THINK OF ANY WAY TO READ PERICLES EXCEPT AS A DEEP MEDITATION ON FAIRY-TALES AND THE CONCEPT THAT FREUD LATER CALLED THE FAMILY ROMANCE. DIONYZA APPEARS ONCE IN ACT ONE. SHE SAYS LITTLE MORE THAN THIS, IN WHICH I CHALLENGE ANYBODY TO FIND INSIGHT:

"That were to blow at fire in hope to quench it;
For who digs hills because they do aspire
Throws down one mountain to cast up a higher.
O my distressed lord, even such our griefs are;
Here they're but felt, and seen with mischief's eyes,
But like to groves, being topp'd, they higher rise."

SHE DOES NOT APPEAR IN ACT 2 SERIOUSLY DID YOU READ THE PLAY

"to have her adopted daughter murdered for being so hot that her real daughter gets jealous. But there's more! Pirates show up just in time!" DO YOU ALSO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS IN HAMLET "Everyone just believes her attempted murderer that she died; they build her a monument. Far-fetchedness upon far-fetchedness..."

SHE'S THE QUEEN? THAT'S USUALLY A PRETTY GOOD WAY TO GET OUT OF A MURDER INQUIRY

"Some stuff just didn't make sense at all, perhaps due to text corruption. For example, why is Lysimachus disguised? Is it because he doesn't want to be recognized in such a disreputable place as a brothel?"

YES BECAUSE HE'S THE GOVERNOR OF MYTILENE DID YOU READ THE PLAY OR NOT YOU FUCKING HACK AUGH FUCK

OKAY I CANNOT GO ON WITH THIS GUY

THE CONSTANT INVOCATION OF A BODY OF SCHOLARSHIP HE CLEARLY HASN'T READ, THE FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND BASIC POINTS OF PLOT, THE CONDESCENDING TONE THROUGHOUT -- THIS IS SO MUCH UGLIER, SO MUCH MORE DANGEROUS THAN SOMEONE SAYING "I CAN'T READ OLD ENGLISH", BECAUSE IT EXPECTS THAT ITS AUDIENCE WILL, OUT OF IGNORANCE, ACCEPT THE PICTURE IT PAINTS OF THE WRITER. A PICTURE THAT HE IS WILLING TO SPEND AN HOUR REPRESENTING, BUT IS COMPLETELY UNWILLING TO BACK UP WITH REAL RESEARCH, REAL WORK. THIS IS THE POISON OF OUR CENTURY; IT'S NOT THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T READ, IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO DO, THEY TURN IT INTO A DRESS-UP GAME

GOING TO GO TAKE A NICE WARM BATH WITH A RAZORBLADE, MIGHT SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Lewis Carroll - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland III

"Ok, so everyone says that Alice in Wonderland was such a wonderful book, yes,yes, I am aware. But, I thought it was very confusing and all the characters were very stupid. I mean, it's not even a book about anything. Sure, it's trying to say that shes is growing up in the process of the dumb dream world but who cares?It was a bad way to write a story, or better yet it was a bad story to write about in the 1st place."


"Throughout this whole book, I couldn't help but think to myself that there was something extremely wrong, so to speak, with Lewis Carroll."


"everyone loves Alice in Wonderland (the 2010 kind) movie... Wonder land is awesome but the book eww..."


"Terrible!
Didn't really like how there were no pictures for the different characters. Most of the stuff in the story didn't go along with the movie."


"I dont get why old books like these are called 'classics'. I've seen the cartoon as a kid and wanted to read the original book to see what made it so special. Now I know that its not special. Its a lot of nonsense, thats a little creative, but nothing that really takes you away from reality. A lot of the characters are unique, but only appear for a brief period and aren't fully developed (or even partialy).
Usually I'm a bad critic because its easy for me to enjoy anything, but I've had a tough time getting through this one, I dont even think its a good childrens book, they'll say the same thing I do. BORING. Save the $3 and buy yourself a cup of coffee, you'll find yourself more entertained with measuring out the sugar and cream and more satisfied to sip on that than to power through this."


"How unoriginal is it to end books by saying it was all a dream? Okay, so maybe it wasn't so cliche back in the days of Lewis Carroll. But it's still not a great ending."


"Have you ever read the book Alice in Wonderland? Well if you haven't, 'Don't'. Overall it wasn't that bad of a book, but it was extremely confusing. In my opinion this book could have been written a lot better. For example, it could have been alot less confusing and more realistic. The main reason I didn't exactly enjoy Alice in Wonderland was because it needed to be more happy,then unhappy. Here are some more reasons why you should not read this boring book. Alice in Wonderland could have been written a lot better. The author's language usage was a bit hard to comprehend,like when the caterpillar was talking to Alice about a crocodile and when the cat was giving Alice directions. Also, the scenes were short and they jumped right into each other too quickly. Most of the animals were rude and mean to Alice. The flowers shooed her away, the queen tried to cut off her head and the cat was always making her angry by lying. Another part that didn't make any sense was the tea party,there's no such thing aa a 'Very Merry Unbirthday'. Also the Mad Hatter and the Hare wouldn't listen to Alice when she was trying to tell her story. All the creatures and animals kept Alice from what she was trying to do which was to follow the white rabbit. Alice met many,many creatures such as Tweedle Dee,Tweedle Dum,Do Do,Bill, Rabbit,Cat,Queen of Hearts,Caterpillar,Playing cards,Mad Hatter,Hare,Flowers,Pig and the Door Knob. This book made me just as frustrated and upset as it made Alice.I felt like I was in the book and I could feel all the confusion and nonsense going on. If I had to give my overall opinion of how good the book was I would give it 2 stars.So, in conclusion I would like to let everyone know that Alice in Wonderland was not worth reading, so don't waste your time! Go get yourself an interesting book to read!"


"I'm sorry, but this book was really weird. It also put me to sleep. Maybe there's something I missed to make this an American classic."


"Since one Star is the highest star (in other words, 1st Place vs. 5 stars being LAST place...I would never want to be in 5th place except a cow dung Frisbee throwing contest but I digress) I want to give this book one star! In fact once I click on the submit button you will see that me and five other people have voted that this book is in FIRST Place, not 4th or 5th place like most of the other mor ons rated the book. They just don't understand how to rate books. Anyway, I loved the book and recommend it to everyone in the world."


"I truly feel sorry for any child forced to read this book in school. Reading it as an adult was no better. It was possibly the most warped and perverse story I have ever read in my life. Most passages were pure nonsense while others lead the reader to wonder if Lewis Carroll had possibly tasted some of the mushrooms Alice came upon in her adventure."


"Gee, why on earth did anyone ever suspect Lewis Carroll used mind-altering substances?"


"I know it makes me shallow, but I suspect Carroll was just playing about with words and perhaps slightly stoned."


"pretty sure this guy was on crack when he wrote it..."


"Well firstly, I haven't read it yet but im so upset because it's not Audiobook 'cause I don't wamt to read it..... What im saying is that i want it to read for me.............. I'm not saying that it is bad it's just if you have a headache and the book you're reading isn't Audiobook, then your head will be more achy-pachy..... Well im gonna give this only 2 stars so yeah..."


"A few times, I had to read a sentence more than once to fully grasp its meaning."


"Too kiddy for me."

Friday, April 22, 2011

Lewis Carroll - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland II

"Tripping much?"


"I don't know what Carroll was smoking when he wrote this book, but it was a little too trippy for me."


"Um.....yeah....I never knew how weird this book was!!! Thank goodness I had seen the cartoon so that I could make some sense of it all! Overall, very confusing...was Lewis Caroll high when he wrote this??"


"I have the sneaking suspicion that Lewis Carroll wrote this book while intoxicated by illegal substances."


"Most of the characters in the great 'wonderland' were either cruel, mean or contrary (or didn't make any sense). I would not have a child read this either. It's probably written for ages 5-7, but the dialogue doesn't make much sense, and with the constant threats of 'beheading' and other such scenes, I recommend that no child read it!"


"The things that I liked about this book were that there was so much imagery, even though the plot of the book is pointless. I always wondered what the actual book was like because I had never read the book but I realized I wasn't missing much."


"Having only seen the Disney film as a child I decided to read this through the 'Classics' app on my iPhone. It's pure nonsense, of course, and one wonders what Carroll was smoking when he sat down to write this."


"Maybe the argument is that it's pure whimsy (shouldn't whimsy be more fun?). Or that it's Lewis Carroll on a drug trip (this gets my vote)."


"I finally decided to read this classic tale after seeing the recent Tim Burton movie version. I've always been familiar with the names and characters, with the 'tea party' and the Queen of Hearts, but I'd never really known the story... Was it really about a girl hero who kills the jabberwoky yet has never been acknowledged as such in contemporary feminism?"


"I had to skim most of the poetry and stories within the story."


"I found this one on the shelf at a B&N and was really intrigued by the gothic fantasy art style so I figured it's about time I found our who this Alice chick was and how many drugs did she take. I feel better having read it but, for the life of me, I have no idea why this story is such a classic. Didn't enjoy it all.

The story boils down to Alice falling into some tripped out LSD world and going from random character to character and having a prissy English conversation that makes no sense. Alot much of the dialogue was tongue in cheek banter and never really roped me in. Also, this is probably a result of me reading so much YA, but I felt like her reactions to the events as they unfolded were just too unrealistic."


"I read this book to my kids. It was an illustrated classics version. Even with the pictures I was HIGHLY bored! ... What is the deal? I guess Carroll just had a fabulous imagination for his day. His poetry is admirable, but again, not my favorite. I'm pretty sure he would be a fun guy to hang out with, but also fairly certain that the rumors of Carroll having been involved in heavy drug use were probably correct. It's in the same category as Sponge Bob for me. My kids love it, I don't. Enough said :)"


"After I finished reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, I honestly was surprised that the book was actually subjected to children. For me, the book was somehow a tad confusing. It is like the book was written in English words that speak no English. I also failed to bond emotionally with the book as it is too random and contains too much nonsense that doesn’t click with my senses (I am 99 percent sure that Dodgson was high on weed when he wrote this)."


"I didn't know this book was supposed to be a 'nonsense' story until I was about halfway through it and decided on a whim to look up facts about it on the internet, so when I heard a few months ago that Lewis Carroll had supposedly made up this story 'on the spot' to entertain a group of little kids, I thought it had to be a total BS urban legend type of thing. How could somebody make up a creative and complicated classic without sitting down to think about it all? By the time I reached the halfway point, all of my doubts on this 'legend' completely disappeared. This book is so random and weird and purposeless that it would actually be pretty sad if the author had sat down Rowling-style to come up with the stuff inside it."


"I read this one with my two kids--ages 4 and 7--a couple of chapters in I remembered how much I hated this book when I read it on my own several years ago. Sorry, people, it's confusing and a complete mess. Kids will barely get what's going on. I'm not exactly sure how this one has lasted so long as something held up as classic literature. Not my thing."


"This book is definitely *not* my cup of tea. I enjoyed the wikipedia entry about the book more than the book itself. It noted that the book is classified as 'nonsense literature,' and I cannot agree more. The book is utter nonsense."


"I fail to understand how it gained in popularity with anyone other than those on hallucinogens."


"I did appreciate the allusions to drugs and other not so good things. But really, 'and then she woke up' right when there was conflict that needed to be resolved? Cheap, very cheap. Did Carroll run out of LSD and that's what he came up with sober? I read something saying he wasn't actually on drugs and that the story is an intricate weaving of logic puzzles and puns. He may have been brilliant but that doesn't make the story any more enjoyable, I daresay it makes it less so."


"Surprisingly I've never read 'Alice in Wonderland' as a child. I'm glad I hadn't. I felt like the story was written for adults. The language was very mature and none of the characters likable. In fact I would say that the majority of them were written rather rudely. Reading it I felt like I was going through a bad trip; the author must have been high when he'd written it! On the plus side, the drawings were done well. But they're scary too, and not for kids."

HEY IDIOTS. DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED THIS BUT KIDS FUCKING LOVE BEING SCARED. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A KID A SCARY STORY? THEY LIVE FOR THAT SHIT. HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A KID SOME BOOK OF SCARY OLD-TIMEY ILLUSTRATIONS? THEY WILL NEVER, EVER IN THEIR LIVES FORGET THEM. HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN INTO A CHILD'S ROOM AND HID IN THE CLOSET UNTIL THE PARENTS ARE ASLEEP AND THEN MADE A SORT OF VERY QUIET GUTTURAL HISSING NOISE SO THAT THEY WAIT WHAT

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Lewis Carroll - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

"This was the absolute second worst book I've ever read (the worst being Hotel For Dogs)."


"I think Lewis Carroll was high when he wrote this story."


"This book is so drugged out and wackadoo. It doesn't make sense."


"I'm 23, and I had never read this book or seen the Disney movie. But I've always heard references to the book, like 'follow the white rabbit', 'going down the rabbit hole', the Cheshire Cat and Cheshire grins, and the Mad Hatter. Now that Tim Burton is working on a movie, even more people will talk about it. So, I finally read it.

This book must consist of Carroll's drug-induced fantasies, or his ridiculous dreams, because this book is nonsense. There's no plot, and the dialogue is foolish, other than a few puns and plays on words. I can't imagine that any sane kid would enjoy reading or being read this story. I hoped that just maybe it would all make sense at the end; that maybe there would be some explanation that would make all the insanity forgivable. But no, it was all a waste. Good thing it only took 3 days to read, or I'd regret having wasted too much of my life on it."


"I think you either have to be really young or on lots of drugs to enjoy this book."


"This book was pure ridiculousness. 'But, ah…', you say, '…it is a nonsense work. It was intended to be this way.' I understand that this is a nonsense work. I understand that the book was therefore intended to be nonsensical, but this does not sway my opinion because… it is still nonsense."


"Creepy. Someone was on stupid pills when writing this."


"We'll say this book's status is 'skimmed.' I didn't read the entire book. I gave up pretty quickly. Carroll writes about nothing in way too many words."


"This is by far the worst family book that we have read. We were left dazed and confused. Collin was left miserable. Why is this a classic? However, whenever I am confused I will now be able to say I feel like Alice and my kids will understand my meaning.
Don't read this. Don't waste hours reading."


"Maybe you need to be a pre-adolescent girl to enjoy it. Or maybe I'm just a Philistine."


"The book is so crazy, makes you see why the popular movie isn't so kid friendly! And then there are the rumors the book was written under the influences of drugs...... it's all weird!"


"Too fantasy filled for me, discombobulated, and annoying. Sorry Lewis but this one was a dud."


"I had seriously attempted reading this at least three times previously and failed."


"Seriously, Lewis Carroll was on something... :-)"


"Utter pointless nonsense. This book has neither plot nor character. As a lover of stories, this was almost painful to force myself to finish."


"I can stand the Disney movie, but this book is indeed one of the biggest desilusions I had. Lewis Carroll was probably on acid when writting this, it's the only explanation I find..."


"Well that was boring and pointless."

YOU'RE TELLING ME, ASSHOLE

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Herman Melville - Bartleby the Scrivener

"Bartlby was terrible!!
All he did was say, 'I prefer not to.'
Then he curled up in a corner, while he was in jail, and DIED!!!"


"'the office' of an previous generation"


"I know I'm supposed to like Melville because he's an American classic, but wow, this book was amazingly tedious. I know that was partly the point, but it was so good at making its point that I felt violent towards Bartleby. I guess it's good to be able to elicit such strong opinions from a novella, but I hate this book."


"Bartleby the Scrivener was an ok book. I found it to be boring, lathargic, unevenful, and in a way pointless. Rather than the only conflict being the fact that Bartleby was lazy and constantly said 'I would prefer not to' as a way of getting out of doing work, and him not leaving the office, I would have liked for there to be more INTERESTING conflict."


"This story (and I use 'story' in the loosest sense of the word) was AWFUL. There was no plot. And when I say that there was no plot, I actually mean it. I'm not exaggerating. The entire story is about a lawyer whose employee (Bartleby) slowly falls into depression and dies. Or something. I honestly didn't see a theme at all. Perhaps, as my English teacher believes, I in my youthful ignorance have missed out on a story that offers deep insight into human nature and the universe. But I doubt it."


"You can argue all you want about how good books can draw emotions from its readers. All I know is I spent most of my time reading this book wanting to kick Bartleby in his stupid lazy face, and then throttle his employers for not kicking him in his stupid lazy face and making ME do it for them. I hated his attitude and I hate people in real life that have similar attitudes. I almost wish that this hadn't been a school copy that I had to turn back in so I could burn it.

Oh, and I'd read Twilight again before even thinking about reading Bartleby the Scrivener"


"I hated this book. I'm not one for seemingly out there literature and this had absolutely no point to me. if you are one of those people who likes to disect every possiblity of what Melville had meant by each little nuance in the book then its for you. i'm someone who just reads text for text (except for narnia or other allegorys) but this hadn't a purpose to me. i'd give it less then 1/2 a star if that was possible."


"'I'd prefer not to.' ?????????? Yeah, me too, pal. Neither would the people who built the pyramids or fought in wars. Neither would Oscar Wilde, or the son on the Sopranos, or 95% of the people in jailhouse showers right now."


"This is a disappointment on numerous accounts. I am not exactly sure what the point of the novella was. Was it to thwart materialism in early 19th century? If so the point was not clear."


"I cheered when Bartleby died."

Ludwig Wittgenstein - Philosophical Investigations

"Wittgenstein was cryptic in the extreme. This has been mistaken for wisdom."


"This book is deliberately obscure pretentious drivel. If anyone tells you how profound it is--run quickly in the opposite direction. It is simply behaviorism (Ryle's concept of mind is a much better book embodying similar ideas) with a pseudo-hip patina of bad coffee-house poetry pasted on.

Academic philosophy is only now beginning to recover from this wooly-headed bit of nonsense.

Buy it for the laughs you can get by contemplating how much academic ink was spilled over the latter half of the twentieth century trying to make sense out of this peurile idiocy.

Fear that they were somehow missing the 'awesomely profound truths' buried (who knows where) in this pablum, had otherwise intelligent philosophers actually afraid to talk about consciousness FOR ALMOST THIRTY YEARS out of fear that Dan Dennett or some other pseudo-intellectual-Wittgensteinian would start jabbering on about beetle boxes to them.

Along with BEING AND TIME, and the complete works J. Derrida, this book was the greatest intellectual fraud of the 20th century."


"Exceeding the gold standard he set in the Tractatus, Wittgenstein outreaches every expectation in Philosophical Investigations to produce what amounts to the second worst poem ever written. The first was the original manuscript of the same , which, I am told, contained two additional aphorisms.

If we were so fortunate that Wittgenstein was, in fact not real but a figment of Douglas Adams' imagination, he would have been the hero of the Vogon art scene.

This book is crap. It is NOT philosophy. It's what happens when a German engineer reads fifteen pages of Theatetus and suddenly thinks himself a philosopher."

Monday, April 18, 2011

William Faulkner - Go Down, Moses

"With true grit and determination, I struggled through a solid 75% of these related short stories (one or two not short enough). Like the old south that it describes - with its bayous, river bottoms, plantations, and swamps - this book is slow going, languid, irritating, and filled with things you don't want to see. Finally, I could not bear to go any further and abandoned my effort - which is something I do not often do with a book"


"I couldn't stand it anymore...after like three weeks of this book and less than 100 pages left, I just couldn't force myself ot finish this book, which absolutely KILLS ME! Cuz I always finish everything I read, no matter how much I may not like it!"


"It got to where I was reading the words in the book, but I just couldn't put together what the hell the book was actually about! So frustrating! UGH!"


"'Go Down, Moses'???...rather go back to the pit from whence you came."


"Not to mince words, but I can't stand Faulkner. I think he's so highly regarded because academics equate 'hard to read' with 'good'."

Sunday, April 17, 2011

William Blake - Songs of Innocence and of Experience

"i'm having trouble relating to this book."


"This reminds me of dr sues but only for older audience hehe."


"william blake upon writing poems seems to portray black as something evil which is very much ridiculous to the black society.i know as a literature student that historically black wasnt something seen as evil but rather humility and beauty but the plaque that hit the whole world in the 15th or 14th century there about made the christian world at that time for their habit of racism name that illness 'blackdeath' diseases.it had a name but later changed to be this since then it has become an philosophical somewhat ideal to equate black to sin.'images of angel,jesus,god etc are all white but the opposite has being made to be ture in the minds of the human race hence black is relative to sin,devil(satan)and all satanic forces.i rest my comments for my book i ll write on this issue."

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Erich Maria Remarque - All Quiet on the Western Front II

"This book has more then one conflict."


"I understand that All Quiet on the Western Front is a classic war novel, but this book is already overwrought with the same repeating message page after page. It literally runs for nearly 300 pages ... The subplots are tedious for me to care about it. I've seen plenty of anti-war movies; they are all the same to me. Then, I keep falling asleep after reading maybe five to ten pages. The book is that boring. It's just a diary of mundane things that Paul Bäumer goes through, and there are times that he gets to see one of his soldiers to get hit or killed in action ... Let's face facts: War is a very old story because it's been around for centuries. So, what's new? War is pointless."


"too many characters, too complicated."


"This book was not very good. It digressed to much. The main character, Paul was a flat character with too many thoughts. It was trajic and to vivid in some parts. I would not recommend it."


"everybody iz dead...."


"I thought the book was a boring one.
This book has got to be one of the most pointless books out on the shelves today. This is one of those books that you have to do background information on before you read it and no book should be like that. Pointless and boring. Simple as that."


"It was the most boring, hard to grasp and understand book Ive ever read."


"The worst book I have ever read
I had a glimps of the cover and almost threw up. Right from the beginning I knew that it was crap. The whole book talks about old men playing cards on margirine tubs and having bowl movements twenty four hours a day. Now I have to write a report on it and trust me it won't be a positive one. From rats to crap I give this book a 0.1 / 10, zero being the worst. I'd use up all 1,000 words that I am aloud to use but I just be repeating how much this book sucks . . . ."


"This book suxs
If u feel like having the life bored out of u read this book.°¿°. My heart goes out to the soldiers and I truly think what they did was marvell~ous, but this book, spare me. :{"


"Enough of the Lies!
Ok, Ok, everybody knows that war is bad, and that people die in it, I mean, that's the whole point isn't it? It's supposed to be something to be avoided, otherwise it wouldn't be a successful method of solving problems. In the case of World War One, I agree with most of the things said in this book, but you can't generalise to all wars. The whole point of a war is to secure the common welfare, and preserve the needs of the many. put plainly, some things are worth fighting for. In this book Remarque shows his ignorance by seeming not to realise this. I will agree that most wars have not been for the good of the people, but you can't make a blanket statement, manipulating millions of individuals with the pacifistic propaganda presented in this book. On this book's behalf, i will state that as far as books they make you read in school go, it's pretty good.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact me at supremeruleroftheearth@yahoo.com"

BUT TO BE FAIR

"I wrote this review back when I used to be ignorant. I realize I was an idiot now."

BUT TO BE FAIRER

"I'm an anarcho-capitalist now."

Friday, April 15, 2011

Erich Maria Remarque - All Quiet on the Western Front

"As I neared the end of this novel, I was expecting to read a surprise twist that would make the reader feel more happy and not so sad. Well, I was wrong."


"it's so anti-climatic, he doesn't even go out as a hero."


"Did not enjoy. Very hard to follow, very emotionally based."


"I read this during my senior year of high school and a professional review (on the back of the novel) that claimed it as one of the best war novels ever written. It's the WORST war novel ever written in my opinion. The writing style is so dry and I thought I was reading a kids novel the way the story, sentence structure, and paragraph structure was utilized."


"A lot of talk an little action. I understand it is meant to tell about WWI was and the hardships but I was expecting more action. There was some gore which I enjoyed and some parts were difficult to read because of the killing but most of the book was talk so.... I didn't care for it much."


"I think this was the gayest book I have ever read in my life!
I don't like war stories and if you are reading this Mr. Johnson I hope you know that the whole time I was reading this I complained the WHOLE time.
thank you"


"I hate most ALL war novels, so I don't know if this one is one of the worse ones, but AQOTWF is not quite to my tastes, to put it mildly. Admittedly, the writing is good enough (I'm currently reading Call of the Wild, and some of the grammar is PRE-TTY FREA-KY)"


"Why do I need to hear about all these dead people? ... Every time I read a chapter it just goes and puts a damper on my mood."


"Is this an anti war book? I don't think so."


"This was exactly as traumatizing as I thought it would be; that is to say, very traumatizing."


"I just didn't feel it as being tragic enough -- It needed more blood, suffering, agony, misery... basta. Kulang ra. But it was okay.

Apparently, the guy wasn't able to have sex during the war... now that's tragic -- a life wasted away. hehe."


"I didn't like it. I equate it to a 'guy book'."


"Everything I read before the age of 20 I considered trash and a total waste of time. This might very well be a masterpiece of American literature but my 2 stars stil stand"


"This book did not live up to the hype all over its covers. The guy is whiny."


"geez
what a stupid book
Im on page 60
tooo muuuuch iiinfo, erich remarqe!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thursday, April 14, 2011

James Joyce - Dubliners

"I will never understand the literary world's fascination with James Joyce. I find him dull and just...well, dull. And it's not because I don't 'get' him."


"People looked into it waaaaaay to much in my opinion."


"Call me an uncivilized peasant if you will, but I continue to despise James Joyce. I recall a college English class of mine where all the students were ducking Prof. Gatza's questions about Joyce's 'Stephen Hero,' and--when he solicited an explanation for the mysterious phenomenon--only fifteen-year-old Brucie Boy had the guts to tell him, 'Well, none of us have read the book because, frankly, it's just pitifully wretchedly dreadful.' (I suppose that's why Gatza gave me a B.)"


"I stand firmly by my first impressions of James Joyce. I am now completely convinced that he was a small minded, arrogant, judgmental, petty little fragment of a man ... His stated intention of writing and publishing the book was to tell the 'truth' in such a way as that the Irish would have an honest look at themselves in his 'nicely polished looking glass' which would, of course, lead to a collective epiphany, causing the Irish to see the error of their ways and repent ... None of Joyce’s characters are treated with any sympathy or compassion, almost as if they deserve their dreary fates just for the crime of being Irish."


"Although I recommend it if you are looking for a short story collection and want to give Joyce a chance without slogging through Ulysses (I'm sorry, I just can't imagine that Ulysses is anything but indecipherable crap that has been proclaimed genius just because nobody can understand it)."

YES THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE


"Eh, I have still yet to see any talent from James Joyce. I was promised filth, what did I get? Some old guy talking about his girlfriends when he was a child and a husband who totally wanted to f his wife, but couldn't because she was in love with someone when she was like 17, but that someone killed himself for her. Aw.

Shut-up, JJ, I hate you"


"I don't like the contrived nature of the short story. (As though one tiny flash in someone's life or day can be the entire definition and summary of his life.)"


"Joyce writes as if Dublin were a small town, with all of the small town appeal of a
bag of pretzels."


"James Joyce is the biggest joke. nothing but a drunken Irishman, he writes both predictably and AGITATINGLY. his diction bothers me and his language frustrates me
more."


"James Joyce is the most unreadable author to ever have been washed into xistance from the womb of Ireland. It is an indication of the non-relevance of education today, that this book is required reading for many of our youths. This novel belongs on the mantle of some poor sod who can't find anything better to do with his time other than perhaps wacking himself repeatedly on the genitals with a blunt object ad infinitum. Beleive me, this book is less painful, but only in that it ENDS. Avoid it at all costs, and punch anyone who recommends it to you square in the gob."


"I do not accept this story. I am sorry."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Goethe - Faust (The First Part of the Tragedy)

"I’ve been meaning to read Faust for almost 10 years now, because I wanted to rectify my embarassing lack of education in that regard. And I expected Faust to be so great that I would have to, grudgingly, proclaim Goethe’s genius. But actually, Faust sucked."


"It is interesting that reviewers appear to be so critical of the translation, ignoring what Goethe himself did to the Faust legend. From the annoying homunculus to the exorbitant Walpurgis Night to the self-indulgent Gretchen 'Travesty,' this is a story that never should have been written, with parts that would have been useless to try to stage. Faust and Mephistopheles were used as tools in a story that Goethe wanted to tell, rather than him telling their story. It is an overwrought nightmare.
The only reason I give it one star is that the site does not permit zero."


"I seriously don’t understand why Faust is so famous – maybe I’m missing something essential. But what stuck out for me that it completely lacked melody. Yes, it rhymes, but most of the rhymes are uneven and/or sound like a preschooler made them up.

And then I might be judging it from current standards of good writing when I should be judging it from the standards of Goethe’s time, but seriously, that guy has never even heard of 'show, don’t tell.' And I not only mean that characteristics are all talked about, I mean stuff like this, too (says Mephistopheles):

I come in gold-lac’d scarlet vest,
And stiff-silk mantle richly dress’d,
A cock’s gay feather for a plume,
A long and pointed rapier, too;

Why… why would anybody say that? In a play? In real life? Unless you’re describing yourself to somebody who can’t see you?

My main emotion reading this was an annoyed 'get to the fucking point already, will you?' It was sometimes interrupted by 'nooooooooooo, not another choir!' and 'how the hell would anybody stage this?' but mostly I was waiting for the point – and there never seemed to be one.

...

And I also know that theatre was different 400 years ago. But my situation today is the only situation I can judge from, and from my situation, I didn’t like it. :)"


"I've been reading this for about 2 years, not sure I'm going to make it ..."


"I usually dislike pieces (I prefer stories)"


"Pretty disappointed. I'm thinking of writing the entire 19th century off as pretty much a waste of time."

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Milton - Paradise Regained

"I think the protagonist was too perfect."


"All of the preaching that one would expect of a religious fanatic"


"Bad Book
Man, I had to read this book. It was so boring and hard to read. Skip it or read the cliff notes if at all possible."

Monday, April 11, 2011

Chinua Achebe - Things Fall Apart IV

MAN, PEOPLE REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS BOOK. LAST DAY OF ACHEBE, I PROMISE


"What I think. I think his book was very boring. I really did not understand it. It had humongous words in it, that were very hard to understand. If I were to tell someone my opinion about thisi book I would say to read a different book."


"When I read a book I want to be told a good story. And a good story is written with words."


"Achebe should be lauded for finishing a book, as should anyone- the writing of a book is a daunting task. As far as content goes, however, Things Fall Apart leaves much to be desired. It very well may be that critics compare Achebe's masterpiece to the great Greek epics, but the distinguishing scholar would hardly equate them with Things Fall Apart. The Iliad and The Odyssey are eloquent and powerful, while Things Fall Apart is contrived and lacks any lasting impact. You will notice that the majority of reviews rating Things Fall Apart as 4 or 5 stars are written by high school students; one has to wonder about their credentials."


"Two things I liked about this book was that Okonkwo was a brave and fearce man, and I like that Okonkwo was a pimp in his on way."


"Getting angry at the evildoers is a story as human existence, and its getting really, really trite. People kill people in Yugoslavia too, white people. Am I excited about reading the next book about that? Are you?"


"Okonkwo is an agressive, sexest and disgustingly manish man"


"An interesting look into tribal life. From what I learned here, I feel that for once, the missionaries were on the mark in trying to elevate this hopeless crew of superstitious, murderous, misogynists. Good riddance to their culture."


"my review
i liked how it was a book on a type of tribe. i liked the names in the book too. i didn't like how the book was. it was confusing. it was too long. i think it should or should not be read in class depending on the type of students in the class."

Chinua Achebe - Things Fall Apart III

"Pick one side and stick with it, Chinua."


"The book was not bad, it was actually very interesting, but you really need to like this genre to truthfully enjoy it, I am more of a fantasy reader.
So what I did is pull this book apart and tell my teacher to shove it. In a very intellect way of writing I compared the story to some Native American stories and Asian (pre and after British colonization) and BANG got an A. Sometimes teacher like to be challenged I hate been part of the pack. :) For that i got an A. :)"


"Chinua Achebe had better not quit her(?) day job, 'cause finger painting and exotic dancing are looking up now. STOP WRITING ALREADY!"


"My my, this book is downright awful. I can't believe that I was forced to read this book. The language in this book was too confusing, and I can't even believe that anyone could enjoy reading a book like this. You need a translator for every single page. This book is way too confusing for the average reader (I am an honors student) and even the more advanced reader would find difficulty reading this book. If I could rate this book with no stars, I certainly would."


"I had to read this my sophomore year of high school. And of course, I had one of those teachers that was obsessed with analyzation and symbolism to the point where I even got to hate it, even though I'm a poet and a writer. The main character had a lot of mental problems, including violence, chauvinism, and overambition to become the 'model citizen' of his tribe. I had no sympathy for him, neither should you. Overall this book was very slow-moving, very dull, very boring, and as a result some of my most sardonic and thoughtful essays in that class were based upon this book. Thanks a lot!!!! Even if I was just reading this for my own personal leisure, I'd give it a relatively low grade."


"I completely disagree with missionaries coming in and slaughtering cultures in the name of 'salvation' so, it's not a fun read for me."


"Last year, I read Things Fall Apart from cover to cover. I would not advise anyone else to make this deplorable mistake. Labelled as 'great literature' by many imbecilic pundits who think calling something 'great literature' will automatically make them connoisseurs of some sort, thus elevating them to the highest levels of society, Things Fall Apart appeared to me as more of a juvenile attempt at a sixth grader's first novel. The author seems to have some sort of infatuation with yams, because the entire book revolves around idiotic descriptions of yams and characters struggling with their declining yam output."


"I'm not much of a reader but I know a good book when I read one. Sorry Achebe but this one was well...BLAN!"


"I read this book once in high school and then again for a college class in freshman year. I graduated college 2 years ago, but this book is so awful that I felt obligated to come back and review it.
...
Sorry folks- the imperialists are the good guys in this book. Things fall apart in Okonkwo's culture, but good riddance to such barbarism anyways! All this book shows is a detailed explanation of how imperialists brought progress and humanity to Nigerian savages. "


"If you think it is a good book because it talk about white guy colonize black African.The reaction of those Africans are stupid too.

I am from Hong Kong when white guys colonize our city, everyone was happy and keep making more money."


"become more convinced that these tribes are backwards
Gnerally, I am extremely open-minded about other cultures, in fact learning about other people's countries is one of my favorite things today. No conversation is more interesting than one that opens your eyes to a different culture. So I read this book by Achebe hoping to dissolve any stereotype that I might have regarding tribal african societies. In the forward, it seemed like this was not too much to expect since that was exactly Achebe's purpose, but everything I had ever heard about the primitive nature of tribal society and the backward thinking was reinstated instead of eliminated. Perhaps I am more disappointed to find that these people truly are illogical and backward than I am in the book itself. But if you are reading this hoping to extinguish any prejudices about African tribes, this is not the book you are looking for."


"If this story is representative of Nigerian culture, I have no empathy for them. I found this story went no where, there were no real accomplishments done by the main character, his could have check in to an asylum for a year, dealt with his tribal issues, what he missed out on as a kid, came back to his tribe and really made a difference with his people. Instead, we just see some ones life that just gets worse."


"Eyes have this odd tendency to skim across words without any comprehension when reading dull pages."


"He shows the killing of other people as an honorable act in Ibo culture, even though he later changes his mind and attempts to claim murder can also be dishonorable. Rather than stressing the more peaceful aspect of their culture, Achebe paints an image distasteful to most Western readers. Drinking palm-wine out of heads? Certainly not a good way to destroy the stereotype of the bloodthirsty African savage.

But not only does he reinforce the stereotype, but Achebe also manages to show Africans as heathens. In the egwugwu ceremony (yet another ceremony), Achebe portrays the villagers as disbelieving in this own gods. At times Achebe gives examples to prove that the Ibo believe in their gods, but with much contradicting evidence, such as the fact the women recognize that their 'god' is Okonkwo in disguise but say nothing), the claim is not very convincing. Instead, he shows how they cling to gods they know are false and thus insults the Ibo culture by portraying the people as disbelievers in their own gods.

He describes all their cruel practices. For example, Nwoye has heard that twins are put in earthenware pots and thrown away in the forest, a practice not only repugnant to Western readers, but also mentioned in the context of faults with the Ibo culture. Leaving innocent babies to die in a forest has no excuses in Western culture; it is wrong. They not only would die a slow, painful death of starvation, but also face the risk of being eaten alive or brutally attacked by wild animals."


"I don't get why Cornell recommended this 1956 book. It leaves one with the strong impression that native Africans are mysoginistic, anti-intellectual and savage. If it was trying to get Cornellians to better appreciate how those in the Third World think, it failed. If Africans still think the way the book discusses, than al Queda will have a never ending supply of recruits."


"Book sucked...the only thing you'll enjoy is saying Okwonko over and over again"

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Chinua Achebe - Things Fall Apart II

"we get it, things fall apart"


"This book was left laying about by my daughter, who had to read it for AP English in high school. Among my fellow readers I am by far the most enthusiastic about world lit so I thought I should read it. I read it. I can't say I got much from it. At best I can describe it as a digest-version of 'Gone With The Wind' from an Native African point of view, and that's a huge stretch"


"The manner of telling (vocab, styles of speech, etc.) lacked an 'African' flavor that i was hoping for."


"I love Africa and stories about Africa, so I figured this would be right up my ally!

...I was very wrong.

I felt like the author was someone who had never written before in his life. When I found out that he was actually a very accomplished author and had taught at universities and colleges all over the world I was FLOORED"


"As an atheist, i can't relate to the numerous occassions that religon is mentioned."


"I wouldn't really recommend this book to anyone. Sorry. Racial and religious tentions played a big role in this book. Also, it kind of toches and tochy subject for women. Women hardly had any status in this book. I didn't like that all. It was a lso a insult if a man was called a women! What is that? i gave this 2 stars. I felt generious."


"The ending was quite a surprise, though. I didn’t expect for Okonkwo to kill himself. I thought it was a bit extreme when I read it. I was like, 'dude things aren’t that bad!' But now that I look back on it, it makes sense."


"I'm still not sure why this is such a popular read. Maybe I should have finished it and then would have known."


"The problem with this novel is that the names of the characters bear close similarity to each other. Although these names may keep the story interesting, its important as a writer not to go overboard with it. The names cause great confusion and will cause a reader not to want to read it at all."


"And then I go, oh. That makes sense. I get that. I would feel stupid for not seeing that while reading it, except that I was too busy trying to follow the story Achebe was telling, and not the one he was implying, which is unfortunate. I guess if I had known in advance that the written story was merely a vehicle for a bigger statement, I would have liked it better. As it stands, I am just confused and disappointed."


"I tried so hard to sympathize with Okonkwo, I really did. After all, he was a hard working man who had to break away from his father's uselessness and earn his wealth the hard way."


"Chinua Achebe is a very creative person when it comes to words and the literary devices he includes in this story are alliteration, simalie, metaphors, and many others. I honestly wouldnt read this book if i ever had a chance because it constantly got boring."


"This book was not....well....my favorite. It was interesting at times, but I just finished reading it today, and I did NOT like the ending. It just...ends."


"I was forced to read this in school - 1 stars
It's about some dudes in Afrika - 1 star
the main guy dies i think - 1 star"


"This book talks about religion & I am not really into learning about other religion."

Friday, April 8, 2011

Chinua Achebe - Things Fall Apart

"I do not think that this book could by any means be thought of as a book worth reading."


"I mean I get the point. Native culture=good. New culture=bad."

I - I DON'T THINK YOU DO


"This book is just a big fail. I read the first couple of chapters and I swear to god to let me finish this somehow in two weeks. The plot was very slow and it appears almost during the middle of the book. I couldn't kept myself from staying put on this book because it was boring. The main character whines about too much things but I will only give him props. for working his way up. Everything about him, ticks me off. He whines so much about being 'weak' while he is weak. He has no right to talk about anything. I don't care that he is a respected man, he can't even do something right. Overall, if I didn't had to read this book, I would be happier."


"An alleged classic of how white man takes over Nigeria in the late 1800's. The low rating is not because I do not believe the story or agree that white man should have taken over Nigeria"


"This book absolutely falls under the category of 'For Nigerians Only' because the writer takes you to a whole new world, a world of its own customs ... for example: there's something mentioned in the book called the holy week which is clearly a sacred time when Nigerians are no longer allowed to fight or argue, but when exactly this week is? every year? every month? and why they do it? is it a part of the culture or of the religion there? these information are important to me! Or why it is so normal to the women of Nigeria to get beaten by their husbands?"


"I really wanted to like this book because my friend Janet liked it. I still like Janet but I don't like this book. In fact, it is only Janet's friendship that keeps me from writing what I really think about it."


"I could not say the names of the characters or the towns. I was frustrated."


"The author tries to introduce us to a culture with likable characters and then watch it be destroyed before our eyes while continuing a vivid story but fails miserably. How miserably you ask? Let me put it this way, Avatar (a movie about a FICTIONAL CULTURE,) did a better job.
Don't get me wrong I love Avatar but I think a book based on actually historic event should do a better job making us care about the characters and evens, no?
Let me lay it out for you. The main character is a war mongering bully who is haunted by the ghost of his father. That's all.
...
I think the author was trying to write a text book on Ibo culture but sent it to the wrong publisher on accident. I am not kidding.
Though this is my opinion, I think anyone who analyzes this book will find both the story and writing style atrocious, here is a segment from the second to last chapter:

'It was open and sandy. Footpaths were open and sandy in the dry season. But when the rains came the bush grew thick on either side and closed in on the path. It was now the dry season.'

If you didn't notice the author says the same thing three time! Granted he uses different wording, but he tells us it's the dry season essentially three times! That is a huge no no in the writing world. I am an aspiring author and when I read this I quite literally wanted to rip that page out of the book and throw it at the wall. That segment right there is the WORST bit of published work I've seen in any book . If you know of something worse please comment on this with what ever is worse.
For me the only consolation in this book is when the white man finally reigns victorious. (Okay, I know that sounds racist but let me explain.)Though the did a horrid job creating the culture the fact that it's real made it real in my mind, plus I begrudgingly admit that the author did offer some small details that helped. Just the thoughts of Mr. Smith as he walked away left me with chills.
So here is my advice to you. Read the last chapter of this book but imagine the character Okonkwo as Jake Sully and Mr. Smith as the army guy from avatar. If you do that, you will receive much more from this book than anyone who's actually read it."


"i had to read this for a class that was about society and how we judge others and history..... not good , it didn't keep my interest at all.. and i dropped the class lol"

LOL INDEED


"Yet another book bashing imperialism and colonialism and white people and European people and humanity and... why do we read this and force our students/children to read this, again? ... Instead, we should know the One with the power to victory: the Creator of the Universe! But that's not allowed in schools, and so I suppose the only things left to force children to read are things like these."


"I really did not enjoy reading this book. I did not like the descriptions because they did not paint a very interesting picture in my mind. I did not like the resolution of the book because I wanted it to end a different way."


"I really hated this book it was very boring and for advice to others, dont read this Book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


"what can i say? i dont think he deserved a nobel peace prize...i dont know... thats just me ;)"

NOT JUST YOU, AS CHINUA ACHEBE NEVER RECEIVED EVEN THE NOBEL PRIZE IN LITERATURE


"i get it. i'm supposed to love it. it's the greek tragedy of african literature. and really, i'm not bothered by the cups made of human skulls or the savage murder of one of the characters. it's the same problem i have with oedipus or agamemnon - hubris! too much stupid hubris making the main character COMPLETELY unlikeable and unsympathetic. and unlike a greek tragedy that at least proffers a chorus to side with, here we get christian missionaries...and that's about it."


"Killing yourself is the most honorable thing to do?"

ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT YOU COULD AT LEAST TAKE IT INTO CONSIDERATION

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Shakespeare - Julius Caesar

"The other thing I don't like is how his characters all the same in all of his plays. It's same type of character for each. Another thing I dislike about Shakespeare is that all of his plays have violence in them. Someone always dies in Shakespeare. His plays were way too much the same. He kept writing the same thing over and over again."


"I hated julius Ceasar soooo much! I felt like everyone was so suicidal that I wouldn't be surprised if they go to a corner every night and cut themselves....also, it was so hard to understand...It was like aliens came down on earth and started talking to me in Julius Ceasar...."


"Its so fucking long, boring and takes forever for the guy to actually get killed."


"EH, this play was awful. It's really boring then Caesar gets killed, more boring stuff, then everyone kills themselves. Yay, so much fun, not."


"Definitly not one of shakespeare's best plays, this play was even worse than macbeth."


"I thought this book would never end, it made me so crazed that I expected to still be reading it at my funeral. In other words it was really really really loooong."


"Here's what I remember: 'Friends, Romans, countrymen: Lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The good that men do is oft interred with their bones,' and then a whole bunch of something and then 'so were they all honorable men,' and then a whole bunch more I don't remember.

Why did we have to learn that? How has it helped me in my life? I obviously don't remember it and I function fairly well as an adult."


"Brutus was a pussy."


"I do have a deep appreciation for Shakespeare; however, I did not find this to be one of his better plays. The amount of drama is disappointing and the character development should have been deeper. I disliked how the characterization of Caesar grew from other people's perspective of him. Maybe that would have been more acceptable for an Elizabethan audience, but for today's students, I think that the amount of information about Caesar in the play itself doesn't justify the ending."


"How can anyone enjoy reading about greed and betrayal? I just find it so sad"


"Boring! Boring! Boring!
Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring boring."


"Stupid book only suitable for the old fashioned, elderly, or dweebs
I absolutly hated this book!!!!!!! I was forced to stop reading every five pages and throw it at a wall because it was sooooooo boring. Shakespear really brought out his worst in this awful book. The english translations rarely made sence, the font was teeny tiny (size 9, according to Microsoft Word when I scanned it onto word), and the pages were flimsy. All in all, an incredible waste of time and money!!!!!"

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Friedrich Nietzsche - Beyond Good and Evil

"Strange as it may seem, I'm tired of liking every book I read and agreeing with the content, so I decided to read something I am sure to hate. Who better than Nietzsche, the notoriously bigoted, misogynistic elitist? So far, I am not disappointed. I hate this man.

Ok... I got more than I bargained for. I absolutely hated this book, so much so, that I didn't even finish it (which is rare for me). Don't bother... unless you want to be thoroughly confused, annoyed and appalled. Then by all means, read away. If so, would you like my copy? I will pay you to take it away."


"Throughout this book there are odd punctuation marks – perhaps the cause of the sentences never seeming to come to an end. Anyway, one of these marks is : - and it seemed a bit out of place, but also made me think of smileys or emotes or whatever these hideous things are called ':-)' Except in this case they looked like little penises scattered throughout the text. After a while I couldn’t help feel this was quite appropriate."


"Nietzsche is German, and considered an existentialist- two of my favorite characteristics of a writer- so I thought that he would be interesting by default. But I was wrong. This book is overly verbose and quite hard to get through; most of his sentences are a paragraph long and by the time you've gotten to the point you've forgotten what he was talking about. I gave up several chapters in because I had no idea what he was talking about and what the general feel of the book was... all I knew was that I was confused. And bored."


"I'm generally pretty good at dismissing all the sexist stuff you find in older books, because you know, such was the style of the time to think of women as less than equal. Fine. I get that, but this book actually has a section about the inferiority of women with adages like, 'Black dress, white pearls, and a silent mouth is the best outfit for a woman.' Ok, in a lot of cases that's true, but you don't have to write about it! Dang."


"Get ready to vomit
I can't read this. I did read this. This is what it turned me into. I'm paralyzed, anxious, depressed. I don't know what to do."


"This book is not without merit. I found it helpful to see where many of Ayn Rand's ideas come from. For example, § 265 is an almost ad verbatim description of Ayn Rand's concept of egotism. Although she distanced herself from some of his ideas (see the Ayn Rand Lexicon for an in-depth discussion), she did maintain a love for his deal about the noble soul having reverence for itself. (See Fountain head, p. x)."


"He also used this book to self-aggrandize his paltry verses, or what some may call 'poetry'. Obviously, I was terribly unimpressed."

(HIS POETRY IS BAD BUT YOU'RE STILL A MORON)


"If I could give this book less than one star, I would. It was a required text for my philosophy class and I absolutely hated it. If you type some of the sentences in to Microsoft Word, you will prompted that what you have typed contains 'wordiness'."


"Froderick does more than argue against these traits. He clearly associates them with women, while he discounts them. Not that you big dumb brutes need any more rationalization for subjugating women. It's too bad there's no such thing as reincarnation, 'cause I'd love to see Frayderick reborn as a woman. Then maybe he'd see things in a new way.

The cerebral cortex is just a place to reason away all the lusty things that come in the lower mind. But of course Frederick didn't know that, because he didn't much care for science, and was too busy justifying his hatred of Jews, Christians, and women.

I realize I'm probably horning in on some mutual admiration society developing about this particular site. So go ahead and zap me a negative feedback. I absolutely don't care. This one woman's opinion remains, like a mentrual stain, on your perfect little page.

How's that for 'Finery'?"


"Nietzsche is very mean and not nice to Jesus and to Christians also. My pastor said it is important to love Jesus and to let poeple know when Jesus is being made fun of."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Aleksandr Pushkin - Eugene Onegin

"Pushkin is a poet and for some reason he thought it would be a good idea to write an entire NOVEL in rhyme. Not his best idea."


"I'm not very into anything that has a shape of a poem (maybe this is a prejudice, but in this case.. I don't care). They twist the words around and add unnecessary and superfluous lines, which makes it much harder to comprehend."


"rhymes and everything"

Monday, April 4, 2011

Suetonius - The Twelve Caesars

"Could not even get through the first section. This thing is a regurgitation of facts. The author should have just listed most of the facts and extracted everything else. Reading the 12 is like getting together with that aunt nobody visits and rambles on about every facet of her mundane life.

To make matters worse there are no natural places to stop reading. I have a new appreciation for chapters and parts."


"As Nick said, 'Of course you didn't like a 2000 year old book. Look at 'Die Hard', it's only 20 years old.'"


"It was forced opinions on you, but it was all to gain favour in the eyes of whoever the Author wanted to please but it was very disgusting with all the sexual lewdness/pedofilia.

I hope this is not what lies in the future our 'civilsation'."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Wallace Stevens - Harmonium

"Should have been called Snore-onium. Hey-o!"


"even though the man can create an image...he still is a racist and classist."


OKAY FROM HERE ON OUT IT'S ALL ONE PERSON


"I take great satisfaction in knowing that Hemingway and Wallace Stevens both hit each other. First Wallace Stevens punched Hemingway in the face, and then Hemingway got up off the floor and beat the shit out of Wallace Stevens, landing him in the hospital. This suits me just fine, because I do not like Hemingway, but at the moment I reserve my most vehement loathing for Wallace Stevens. I don't have to study Hemingway; in fact it will probably never be necessary (knock wood) for me to read Hemingway ever again. Right now, though, I am being forced to give some of the space in my brain, the space that could be used for, I don't know, becoming acquainted with Anthony Trollope or Saul Bellow or Anthony Burgess or Djuna Barnes (my present book experiments for which I have no time because I am so busy studying Wallace Stevens), I am being forced to give some of that space to Wallace Stevens' wretched poetry and his perfectly idiotic and nonsensical literary theory. So I am really glad that Hemingway beat the crap out of him. Serves him right.

I also do not accept a lack of punctuation. That's just unacceptable. Come on, people. God gave us punctuation out of the love he bears us, and we're just spitting on him if we refuse to use it. It's there for us to use. See, I've just used a period! And look, an exclamation point! And commas, commas everywhere! It's so tidy and organized; it makes such good sense; we comprehend sentences so handily because of the punctuation that explains where the breaks are. Punctuation! Join me, comrades."


"And back to Wallace Stevens. DAMN IT. I will have to indulge in frequent imaginative reconstructions of his brutal beating at the hands of Ernest Hemingway"


"There may be no lengths AT ALL to which I will not go in order to avoid studying
Though in my defense, I am studying the most genuine load of crap: ... Wallace Stevens, for whom my deep distaste is well-documented (and in fact deserves its own category)."


"Why is there so much Wallace Stevens in the world?"


"I am done with Wretched Wallace Stevens. I had to write about him in two essay questions, and I did not appreciate it. I hope I never encounter that wretched, wretched man again. I hope this is the last time I will ever use my I Hate Wallace Stevens label."


"I hate Wallace Stevens
This is well-documented and there's nothing more to say about it. I just remembered that I had a category about this, and it reminded me of exactly how much I hate Wallace Stevens."


"I still hate Wallace Stevens. So much."


"I should have made this category ages ago, dude. I have an entire category for Wallace Stevens – oh, Wallace Stevens, I hate you so much and I'm still super glad that Ernest Hemingway beat the shit out of you"


"I still hate Wallace Stevens.

I'm not just saying it because I have a category and I don't want to waste it. I'm saying it because sometimes when I look at all my category labels, I see the I Hate Wallace Stevens one, and it reminds me of the deep loathing I continue to have for Wallace Stevens. I'm glad Ernest Hemingway kicked shit out of him and sent him to the hospital."